Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I'm pointing the finger right back at.......me.

Inside this cranium is more than just a brain.
Thoughts zoom around like excited jet planes.
Sometimes my heart tries to tell my logic what to do.
Quite often I choke my heart's silly ideas to death.
Protection.
How can I know if it was really protection or just fear?
Or was it something caused by pain?

I have learned that sometimes things are really not what they seem, because our feelings cloud our judgement and our feelings, when hurt, tend to change the way we look at people.
Suddenly they seem so different and foreign to us, they're the ones with the problem, it's their fault.
My pain is not dictated by me, it's what they did to me.
MY PAIN.
MY WOUNDS.

I think we all tend to want to blame others for how we feel.
Instead of taking what others say at face value, which is quite often the truth, we try to nit pick it apart and read into it way farther than we should.
Thus causing us to have our feelings hurt even more, simply because we didn't get our own way.

And instead of keeping our business to ourselves, we open our death traps and yap to each other about the things we are assuming are true.
When in reality, we're fabricating lies to help justify our feelings, ending in an unmerciful pit of gossip quicksand.

This hurts people, taints reputations, and makes you look like a fool.
Whether it be break ups, misunderstandings, or things that maybe you did, there is always a way to let yourself heal without hurting more than you should.

First step: Stop pointing fingers and assuming things.
Step two: Take what they said at face value, stop assuming that there is more to it than what they told you. Sometimes they're actually telling the truth.
Step three: Actually let yourself heal.
Step four: Face your fears and insecurities.
Step five: Forgive those who have hurt you.
Step six: Examine your motives.
Step seven: Give the benefit of the doubt.
Step eight: Let yourself have the possibility of fault. Not saying blame yourself for something that was NOT your fault, but when it actually was your fault, step up and take responsibility.
Step nine: Honesty. Be honest with yourself, with God, and towards the one who you hurt or hurt you.
Step ten: ABOVE ALL OF THESE THINGS: Actually give it to God. Don't self medicate, don't self harm, don't smoke, don't drink, don't do anything that involves stupid and I mean STUPID temporary fixes.

Get on your knees and send some knee mail to the one who truly loves you no matter how pathetic you can be.
God's the only one who isn't pointing fingers or shutting you out.

So stop playing the victim when the things that happen, are simply a part of life.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28

Actually do it.

I dare you.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Slithering Owls

Let's sit around and pick apart the very things that make us real.
Let's rip apart our hearts.
Let's sit around and throw around our thoughts and cheap feelings.
We'll draw lines into the simple skin of empty promises.
We'll strip down what's left of the failures in our lives and simply run in scattered patterns around the sinking shore.
We'll throw our hands up and say, "We've done it again! Change is only a weasel."
I have come to find that these fine lines that I paint along the outer lands of reality are askew on my easel.
My wings are full of wholes and my sails are broken feathers.
Up is down and black is white, obviously blue.
There is no comforting place inside the pit of glory.
Your grass isn't greener because your grass is real.
We wander around with our soggy waffles and wonder where we went wrong.
To fat to open our eyes and see the grimacing python.
Waiting.
Foolishly you dance into the grip of slithering seduction.
And you wonder why it's becoming so hard to breathe.
You let in the very things that you swore you would never love.
Look at you trying to have your ice and drink it too.
Do you think the sickness gives a hoot if you make it or not?
You're just another casualty in it's lust for control.
How sickening it must be to know all the answers, but never get it right.