Monday, March 29, 2010

Insomnia of My Heart

I couldn't sleep last night.
My eyes desired rest, but sleep was withheld from them.
It was a curse.
All of me wanted to drift off into slumber.
But none of me would allow.
My mind raced with thoughts.
Tormented by my inability to control my internal self.
It seems that the late hours of the night are the scariest.
My greatest fears feast on my insecurities.
I could hear it all day, "You're beautiful."
And still forget it.
How I yearn for it to stick.
My heart craves companionship, and my thoughts rear from common sense.
I believe I am lost in the midst of things.
I know the truth, I know how I should feel, I know what I should do.
But parts of me don't want to conform.
Those are the things that keep me from fully coming alive.
Confidence is key.
I must have confidence in who I am.
Confidence in who Jesus Christ is.
Confidence in what God has for me-the plan I desperately need to follow.
Therefore I will step out in faith today, and believe that God does have that man of God waiting for me.
We're just not ready yet.

1 comment:

  1. That is very beautiful Hoppy and you speak of many truths. Truths I myself need to learn and know within my own self.